


musical dilemma

by dahroot



Category: Autoboyography - Christina Lauren, The Book of Mormon (Latter-day Saints)
Genre: Confusion, Fluff, M/M, Mormonism, Musicals, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING ON THIS, ha GAYYYY, i apologise for my use of “all that jazz” in this i really do, lowercase oop, musical theatre, not rlly angst, plea s, tanner is confused, the book of mormon - the musical, they’re working through it ok, this is the first unironic thing i have written in three years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-20 18:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18530266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dahroot/pseuds/dahroot
Summary: sebastian discovers the book of mormon (the musical) and is astonishingly undisturbed, and rather amused. tanner is confused. (written in tanner’s point of view)





	musical dilemma

**Author's Note:**

> this is borderline ooc for them idk i’m sorry i haven’t read the book in months

i don’t know how it started. i can’t recall if it was the moment i saw him on my campus or if it was last night or this morning. all i knew is that sebastian had changed. this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, change isn’t always a bad thing, this was just... unexpected.  
sebastian brother, a man who i still believe is the hottest creation on god’s good green earth, has never been the type to laugh about his problems, or have a dark sense of humour. he’s always laughed at my dad’s dad jokes and my dad jokes. he laughs at the worst of (and cleanest) modern snl skits and at “epic fail!” youtube videos from 2009.  
so when did he make the switch from that, to a satirical broadway musical about one of his biggest struggles? and why was i not in on this major change in my boyfriend’s life?  
i ponder this while seb rewatches andrew rannels’s 2011 performance of “i believe” on his phone for the 21st time in a week (yes, i have counted.) i wonder if he knows that it’s poking fun of mormonism or not. i consider the possibility that he thinks it’s just a flashy form of recruitment.  
either way, this is out of character. i make the impulsive decision to open up a powerpoint on my computer, because maybe it will help me have some sort of epiphany, even if i don’t type anything.  
now, i was not unfamiliar with the show. i had seen an off-broadway production of it, i had the soundtrack downloaded and thought it was a clever idea and fun musical. however, my biggest fear was my god-loving mormon hunk of a man discovering the musical, considering it was a massive shit on his religion and all of his beliefs. but he doesn’t seem to know.  
maybe he does know, he just doesn’t care. and to that i say, “who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” out loud, despite not meaning to. afterwards, i make a face of regret hoping that if this all blows up on me later, he’ll know that it was a spur of the moment question.  
“what do you mean?” he looks up to me and i swear to god that my insides still melt every time his eyes meet mine, and then he lets out a little chuckle and i know then and there that i will not make it through this conversation without spontaneously combusting.  
“it’s just,” i scoot closer to him, “you never really have had a dark sense of humour, especially things that hit so.. close to home..” i say, with a soft tone to ensure that i don’t provoke any negative outbursts of emotion. “you know that, they’re making fun.. of god and all that jazz.. right?”  
he takes a deep breath and sighs, “i know it might seem rather out of character for me,” and for a second i think he read my mind, “but sometimes it feels good to just.. laugh it off, you know? my religion was such a big part of me for such a long time. and then one day, it all went away because of who i was born to love? that seems like... like.. a bunch of bullshit. and i’m sick, and tired of what the church believes defining what i’m supposed to believe and what i’m supposed to live by!” if we were still back in provo, and he was still talking to his parents and i was still in high school and we were still a complete secret to everybody around us, he would have been in tears. but i realise that his sudden change of humour has come with a sudden burst of confidence. but all i could focus on was one fucking thing.  
“sebastian brother... did you just... swear?!?” i say, and i realise how ridiculous it is that i’m getting emotional over my boyfriend saying a swear word, but it’s just so out of character for him. and if you asked me why or for any sort of explanation for why this has made me so emotional, i don’t think i could tell you. it’s possibly because sebastian doing something so blatantly against his religion (other than.. being with me i suppose) is such a big step in the right direction.  
he giggles and nods and gets up from his side of the couch to sit in front of me and lean his forehead on mine and i decide that i will withstand as many mind-numbing chuckles and as much world-melting eye contact as i have to in order to live the rest of my life with this man by my side.  
i also decide that i like this new sebastian brother.

**Author's Note:**

> ple a s accept this


End file.
